Articles by Allan

A guy runs into a bar and says to the bartender, “Give me twenty shots of your best Scotch, quick!” The bartender pours out the shots, and the guy drinks them as fast as he can.

The bartender says, “Wow. I never saw anybody drink that fast.”

The guy says, “Well, you’d drink that fast too if you had what I have.”

The bartender says “Oh my God! What is it? What do you have?”

The guy says, “Fifty cents.”

No comment.

Google’s Street View has come to Hobart, and guess who was visited?

Click here for the whole picture

Reporter David Wroe of The Age, reports from Berlin.

YOU CAN get it eating bratwurst. You can get it wearing lederhosen. But German beer lovers, it seems, didn’t quite get it at all.

What was this curious brew in a funny little bottle, overchilled and underdressed in a rudimentary green label, presuming to stand alongside the big boys from Germany and the Czech Republic at Berlin’s International Beer Festival?

“It’s too cold,” said a Bavarian bus driver, Hans Horst. “If it’s too cold it has no aroma. Beer should be 10 to 12 degrees Celsius, the same as sausage.”

The humble VB was one of the beers featured for the first time this weekend along the Berlin festival’s famous “beer mile”, on Karl Marx Avenue. Despite some misgivings, the world’s most discerning beer drinkers gave Victor Bravo a modest, if not effusive, thumbs up.

The bad news at the end of the first day, was that VB was being comprehensively outsold by New Zealand’s Steinlager at the international beer stalls.

The good news was, at least VB was outselling Castlemaine XXXX, which was struggling to get off the mark.

[From theage.com.au]

If you have had a rough day at the office, sometimes it’s nice to kick back at home and have yourself a cold brew. But what if you are stuck pulling an all-nighter at that very same office and can’t break away to get to your favorite adult beverage? We’ll, you could pretend to pound down a few with the iPhone app known as iBeer 2.0.

This clever little iPhone app takes advantage of the tilt sensor in the mobile phone and lets you perform amazing beer tricks like brewing, drinking, shaking, and what brew wouldn’t be complete without the belch.

The ultimate way of keeping track of your consumption of your favourite tipple.

Sometimes it’s hard to keep track of a fun filled evening of beer drinking, especially when it comes to the exact number you’ve had to drink.

Let there never be question again. The Beer Tracker never lies — each time a beer is cracked it is counted on the neat digital display.

Then, if you can find it in the morning, uncover the grand total of your exploits. Ideal for world record attempts. Happy drinking!

“The average U.S. citizen completely ignores the regularity with which the automobile kills him, maims him, embroils him with the law and provides mobile shelter for rakes intent on seducing his daughters.”

Time magazine, 1947

“The average U.S. citizen completely ignores the regularity with which the automobile kills him, maims him, embroils him with the law and provides mobile shelter for rakes intent on seducing his daughters.”

Time magazine, 1947

Fresh Fish Goujons with chips & tartare sauce is a pub favourite.

Bangers and mash with gravy for the morning after.

Chicken schnitzel with pepper sauce.

All found on the Bar Menu.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

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We got these by email today, and it included this comment:

Also, please note that the problem with the second one isn’t the kangaroo in the house, nor the cigarette in its mouth, nor the over-sized stubby, nor the fact that a child has it, nor the fact that he’s drinking beer with a straw (I saw somebody do that in a pub yesterday).

The reason it’s wrong is that no-one in Australia drinks Fosters.

A sign of the times. Any viewers have a clue as to the reason for this very well supported march?

A lunch for big appetities.

Something to wrap your laughing gear around.

Photograph by Tim Boyd

“It will mean either there will be pubs without beer or the cost of beer will go up,” the Associated Press article quoted Salinger as saying.

‘Wanted: Person to accompany elderly gentleman to the pub’ — and the lucky winner will even get paid for sharing a friendly pint of beer.

Mike Hammond put the advertisement in his village post office so his widowed 88-year-old father Jack could have someone to chat to on twice-weekly visits to a southern England pub from a local nursing home.

‘It’s got to be the best job in the world,’ Mike Hammond said as he sifted through a list of likely candidates who will be paid 7 pounds an hour plus expenses.

The successful applicant must not be a woman, a teenager or ’somebody who is just going to get wrecked. Dad is not a heavy drinker,’ Mike Hammond told the Times.

His father likes women, he said, but it would be a little bit awkward going out to the pub with a lady he didn’t know.

“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.”

– Dave Barry

Robotic Beer Launching Refrigerator – video powered by Metacafe

An enterprising beer can collector created this portrait of one of the Queen’s corgis from flattened duplicates.

Click on the image to see how it was done.

And to think it all started last night with ‘Spin the Cat’ in the beer garden!

A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the toilet.

He doesn’t want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, “I spat in this beer, do not drink!”.

After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, “So did I!”

The General Managers of Cascade Brewery (Tasmania), Tooheys (New South Wales), XXXX (Queensland), CUB (Victoria) and Coopers (South Australia) were at a national beer conference.

They decide to all go to lunch together and the waitress asks what they want to drink.

The General Manager of Tooheys says without hesitation, “I’ll have a Tooheys New.”

The General Manager of Carlton smiles and says, “I’ll have a Carlton Draught, brewed from the finest hops.”

The General Manager of Coopers proudly says, “I’ll have a Coopers, the King of Beers.”

The bloke from XXXX says, “I’ll have a XXXX, the cleanest beer on the planet.”

The General Manager from Cascades glances at his lunch mates and says, “I’ll have a Diet Coke.”

The others look at him like he has sprouted a new head.

He just shrugs and says, “Well if you wankers aren’t drinking beer, then neither will I.”

The old advertising slogan ‘Guinness is Good for You’ may be true after all, according to researchers.

A pint of the black stuff a day may work as well as an aspirin to prevent heart clots that raise the risk of heart attacks.

Drinking lager does not yield the same benefits, experts from University of Wisconsin told a conference in the US.

Guinness were told to stop using the slogan decades ago — and the firm still makes no health claims for the drink.

The Wisconsin team tested the health-giving properties of stout against lager by giving it to dogs who had narrowed arteries similar to those in heart disease.

They found that those given the Guinness had reduced clotting activity in their blood, but not those given lager.

The attractive and reasonably priced dishes on our Bar Menu are prepared and presented to the same high standards that make our Bistro so popular.

We offer familiar favourites like bangers and mash and steak sandwiches as well as our famous Shippies’ special seafood chowder.

We believe that fast food isn’t necessarily good food, so if you’re planning a quick lunch or a light early evening meal, call us in advance on 6223 5551 to place your order.

Click here for the full menu.

 
 

Good beer is the most important tradition at Shippies’ — but we’re anything but tradtional when it comes to serving top-quality beer in peak condition. We use the latest technology to deliver your favorite beer at exactly the right temperature from ice-cased fonts chilled by pressurised super-cooled water.

We pride ourselves on the quality of our Guinness; Carlton Draught is popular with locals and mainland visitors alike; and diet-conscious drinkers go for the low-carbohydrate Pure Blonde lager.

We have the full range of Tasmania’s renowned Cascade beers, brewed only a few kilometres from the pub at the historic Cascade Brewery, established in 1820 by John Degraves.

And we offer Carlton Black as a lighter alternative to Guinness.

Two Hobart traditions come together at Shippies’ every New Year’s Day: the Quiet Little Drink and The Kravats, Hobart’s favourite band.

The Quiet Little Drink attracts crews from the Sydney-Hobart yacht race looking for a chance to rinse down the salt water with a cool drink or three to the music of maestro Barry Woodruff and the mighty Kravats.

They’ve been part of Hobart life for more than 50 years — but they haven’t slowed down a bit. The Kravats can rock along with the best of them and they’ve been at it for longer than the Rolling Stones.

Specialising in favourites of the 60s and 70s, the band will be joined this year by Hobart bluesman Jimmy Roussos.

They’re the only Tasmanian band that outsold the Beatles with their hit single ‘Baby Let Me Take You Home’. Have a look and a listen and enjoy a trip back to more cheerful times.